Share my life

Makes any difference,
I still love you girl
You’re my weakness,
you change my world

Share my life
Trust in me
You’re all I want
Everything I need, Ooo Baby

Makes any difference,
I give you all my heart
Girl my sunsets,
anywhere you are
Baby I’m a dreamer,
you’re still my queen
Your loves like a river girl,
its running right through me

Share my Life, Hey Girl
You can trust in me, Baby
You’re all I want, Hey Girl
You’re everything I need, Hey Babe

You’re my dream and my joy
My heart belongs to you
So I sat down one day
and I wrote this song
‘cause I need you in my world

Share my life baby, Hey girl
You can trust in me girl, Baby
You’re all I want, Baby, Baby
You’re everything I need, Yeah
I really mean it baby, Hey girl

I’ll give you what you want baby, baby hey
If you want it,
you can have it,
baby it’s yours
Listen, I want you right here in my world ,
here in my life, here in my soul
I want the world to know that I need ya,
baby I believe ya, girl
I’ll never deceive you
Share my life Baby

Everyday I love you

I don't know but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you

I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul

It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul

If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you

And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
How this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find
deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall(let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all(though it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

i need...

to be alone


to do work


to be quiet


time to be with myself


space

selfish or not...? no?

"love yourself before u love others" - wann

she's right...

Choose who you want to be, not who others choose to see.. :) - irene

jesus loves u....but....

I Don't

a friend's dream

she: u know.. i had a dream of you and him.
vsk: really?
she: yeah.. this time it's the other way round..
vsk: really...?
she: yeah.. you r him.. and he is you..
vsk: really!!?
she: yup...
vsk: so.. what does that mean?
she: it means it's just a dream...

*hmmm... what if the dream... becomes reality...?*

question 1

crushed into pieces.
afraid to believe.
what do u do?
how do u fix a ruined person?

im happy

when i have this all by myself

mmmmmmm

im happy

when i smell good..

oh Lord

tell me what is bothering me...

all day....

i feel like i could break down anytime.. anywhere.. any second..
but i hold it...
cos i dunno why...

goodbye my friend

when i got up this morning. first call of the day just made my whole day such a devastating one.

a very close friend of mine died yesterday morning in a bike accident on his way back to KL from Betong, Thailand. i kept repeating his name and trying to really really LISTEN to what my friend is telling me. somehow waiting for him to start laughing or giggle... but.... who joke about death huh..

we were very close that i was with him every single day. Doing our best to finish his house. I was the designer for his house. every single thing my opinion is important. very important. he rather hold on to everything else and wait for me to view first. just to see if i like it or not. every single thing in the house. we did together. every decision. hmmm... we laughed. we had fun together. i've learned alot from him cos he was one super detail person. the omfg detail person. yup.

he was a very gentle person. to me at least. never once he raises his voice to me. but to the other contractors. yeah... every single day. even to his brother. he was a very kind hearted man. he advised me what is life all about. how to make money. what is money all about. riding. diving. traveling. men. relationship. friendship. bikes. cars. fun. we talked about every single thing. he always said this to me.

"vanessa. you don't look for money. money will look for you."
(specialize one thing you're really really good at. something that you really really love to do. and when you have mastered it. the world will come to you cos you're so good at it. =) )

yeah. hmmppfft.. it's easier for him to say cos he's a millionaire! hmmm..... at least he finished his 'piece' (the house) for his wife and his 2kids. he's been thru alot. from hard to easy life. he achieved his dreams. retired young and enjoy life. he did all that. but only for few years. 5years? hmmm...

i will never forget the things we did together. the time we spent together.

hmmm... i am so gonna miss that old man.

read here & here

B. i beg you. don't ride anymore.
don't get the bike.
don't ride madly.
don't drive madly.
i'm worried about you. how are you?
i miss you sometimes.
never a day i never thought of you.
please please please be careful.
please... i beg you.
i beg you please...
i don't know how to live if there's anything happen to you.
love you pa.

so again

i am heartless

quote 11

am i not worth anything to you...?
how can i mean nothing to you when you mean the world to me...?

wth man

"I......... like big butts and I can not lie.....
You other brothers can't deny..."

all day this song playing wild in my head...
why? why? why?

hmmmm...
and i have these questions in my head...

what am i gonna do?
have i gone too far now?
do i listen to my heart?
or do i listen to what ppl think i should do?
should i bother? or not?
who should i listen to...?

something to think about....

-- it's for the rest of your life, not just another 10yrs... -- big sis

mencintaimu

Mencintaimu...
Seumur hidupku
Selamanya...
Setia menanti
Walau di hati saja...
Seluruh hidupku
Selamanya...
Kau tetap milikku

Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
Sgalanya...
Teramat berarti di hatiku
Selamanya...

Mencintaimu...
Seumur hidupku
Selamanya...
Kau tetap milikku





hi B. how are you?
i'm doing good here. Lots of work I need to finish.
It's been awhile I haven't heard anything from you.
How's everything? How's work?
Charlie & Blacky is ok. They're still the same.
Well... I'll talk to you more next time. ok.
be careful ok.. look all around you when working..
take care. bye.

uhhuh...

"God is giving U a reason not a choice!!" - SK

unsure

sometimes. im not even sure
whether im sure about what im sure
how do you know when you're so sure?
being sure and being so sure
im not even sure what im supposed to be sure anymore

can i think about this one later?

hmmm...

I am still trying to deal with all the words
that were posted in my brain by him.
If you hear something long enough....
your mind begins to believe it.

ohhh boy...

i don't think i can do this..

while im packing...

these are the questions im having...

why do i have to feel all the pain first then u come to me and say sorry.
why do i have to go thru all the sorrow then u come to me and say sorry.
why do i have to cry first then u come to me and say sorry.
why do i have to hear all that then u come to me and say sorry.
why do i have to beg for you to stop all that then u come to me and say sorry.

how many times do i have to say ok. i forgive u.
how many times do i have to cry for you to realize it is too much

what have i done to be in this situation
what have i done to feel all this pain
what have i done to be treated this way

when will you ever stop making me feel this way
when will you ever stop doing what you're doing
when is "enough is enough" come into this picture

can i actually do this
can i just forget about everything
can i just let it all go just like that
can i just leave
can i just stay

i can't do anything right now
dammit

1710

I am done, smoking gun
We've lost it all, the love is gone
She has won. Now it's no fun
We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We found our life's been changed
Babe, you lost me

And we tried, oh how we cried
We lost ourselves, the love has died
And oh, we tried, you can't deny
We're left as shells, we lost the fight

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We found our life's been changed
Babe, you lost me

Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet
But you chose lust when you deceived me
You'll regret it but it's too late
How can I ever trust you again?

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We found our life's been changed
Babe, you lost me

wonder

hi B
how are you?
how's work?
how's your wrist?
have you been eating well?
can u sleep at night?
have you lose weight?
you ok?
tell me... tell me...
you be careful ok
make sure you have enough of rest
don't push yourself ok
take it easy
don't worry everything is gonna be fine
you're gonna be fine
i'm gonna be fine

*17101999 - 17102010
i will always love you. with all my heart

i wanna hold your hand

love this version... listen to it.. you'll love it...

me....

heartless

be grateful...

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks unto the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son 

And now let the weak say, 'I am strong'
Let the poor say, 'I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us' 

Give thanks

quote 10

go sleep lah, it's late now
i was just hoping to talk to u and say i love you

tomorrow

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A daaaaaaaaaay
A way!

quote 9

i cherish all the years we have been together
and i really want this to work between us

how many times

You used to tell you loved me
You used to show me you cared
I used to be the one that you adored
But lately I don't feel you love me anymore

See I don't understand
What's come over you
And I don't understand
Why I let you
Treat me so cruel, so tell me

How many times,
must I break down and cry
I'm confused my understanding
Was true love should never die
How many times
Will you kill me inside
Any kind of fool should see the light
So why can't I

Time after time,
I have tried and tried
To give you some space, some time
But no matter what I do, it is never enough
You just refuse to try to do by me right
Though I know I should leave
There's something holding me
I can't seem to find the strength
To set myself free

How many times,
must I break down and cry
I'm confused my understanding
Was true love should never die
How many times
Will you kill me inside
Any kind of fool should see the light
So why can't I

I gave my heart and soul
I gave my all you know
I deserve better baby, oh so much better baby
You know it's just not fair
For you to act like just don't care
For you to act like I've done something wrong
Boy how could you dare

How many times,
must I break down and cry
I'm confused my understanding
Was true love should never die
How many times
Will you kill me inside
Any kind of fool should see the light
So why can't I



-- Jordan Hill --

quote 8

how you doin?
i'm ok
how's everything?
ok
so?
.... what?
have you got it?
got what?
u haven't answered me... yet...
huh? ohh that.... hmm...
........................................
how's the ocean by the way...?
................................


*sigh

wishes

to have my happiness w you
and for him to have his happiness w her

then i'll be fine...

i'm still breathing...

Did you think my life would end that day
That you walked out when you broke my heart
Did you think I couldn't make it through
Ooh, without you
Did you think you'd stop my world with goodbye, oh no
Did you think I'd crumble inside

Not me, I'm still breathing
And this heart of mine is still beating
I, I'm not feeling any pain
No baby, not me, I'm still breathing
This old heart of mine is still beating
The tears I cried have dried
You are gone and I survived
I'm still breathing

There were times when it took all my strength
To just get though, yeah, through another day
There were so many nights I thought I was gonna die
Without you
But the tears I cried somehow made me strong, so strong
Did you think I couldn't go on

Not me, I'm still breathing
And this heart of mine is still beating
I, I'm not feeling any pain
No baby, not me, I'm still breathing
This old heart of mine is still beating
The tears I cried have dried
You are gone and I survived
I'm still breathing

You tried to cut me down, cut me down baby
But look who's still around, hey oh
Without you
Did you think you'd stop my world with goodbye, no baby
Did you think I'd crumble, just crumble inside

Not me, I'm still breathing
And this heart of mine is still beating
I, I'm not feeling any pain
No baby, not me, I'm still breathing
This old heart of mine is still beating
The tears I cried have dried
You are gone and I survived
I'm still breathing

The tears I cried have dried
You are gone and I survived
I'm still breathing

it's time to let each other go

why does it have to be
time is never right for me
what i gotta say
cannot be delayed

why do i have to go first
be the one to cause the hurt
both be holding on
knowing that it's wrong

you know that this ain't easy
but i know you're waiting for me
to stand in front of you
and do what you couldn't do
confirm it's over

this is closure
and it's time to face the truth
i'm giving you, i'm giving you your closure
and it's hard for me to say
but i'll say it anyway
this is over
this is closure

how time has come and gone
together we don't belong
nothing we can say
will ever make that change
i've gone for better or worst
somehow we make it work
but there's no happy end
when you can't be friends

you know that this ain't easy
but i know you're waiting for me
to stand in front of you
and do what you couldn't do
confirm it's over

this is closure
and it's time to face the truth
i'm giving you, i'm giving you your closure
and it's hard for me to say
but i'll say it anyway
this is over
this is closure
it's all over

it's time to let each other go
it's not as if we didn't know
we've been holding on
because it was safe
but it's time to go our separate ways

i'm giving you, i'm giving you closure


-- gabrielle --

a friend told me...

no matter how well you play your cards....
either way...
you gonna get hurt...

somehow...

i know where i belong to...
i know what is real.. and what is really real...
i know what is right...
i know what is wrong...
i know what i want... and what i really want...

i know

but

even i knooow...

i am still here...
having this...
this thing in me...

hmmmm

somehow i know...
its gonna be...

____?____

at the end of the day...
you'll see...
and when the time comes...

i hope

you'll be there for me...
smile at me and tell me...

"i'm happy for you"

or

"i'm happy for you"

or

"i'm happy for you"


what say you ah...

this morning...

i had a bad day. Having heavy breathing. I don't feel good. physically and mentally. i've been thinking and thinking and thinking what's next to do with my work. i've tried my best to make everything goes perfect. guess its not good enough for some people. i hate it so much. i hate myself for it at the same time so i just leave everything and stared at the screen ALL DAY. yup. ALL DAY.

i realized i've been blogging alot. well, that's what happens when one can't keep it inside any longer. too 'heavy' to keep.

a friend of mine is sad because of something and i'm not sure what to say about it and of course it's not true. you've got to believe me cos if you don't. then i'm sorry. sorry that you have to think or feel that way. like i said, i don't want to make things worse. so. if i have to do it so that everyone is happy with it. then yeah, sure. whatever makes you happy.

i know. u don't get me right.. hmmm...

relieved

i feel somehow lighter after i let everything out. Especially to you. yup... Everything in 45min.. i think... it was damn hard but i let it go... i just let it all out.. my heart was beating sooo fast something telling me to stop...

"yok.. stop it.. too detail.. too deep.. stop"

but i didn't...

At first, i didn't know where to start. at all. For a longest time, i've been trying to talk about it but i have no idea where to begin. i guess when one keeping it too long.. too old... it gets 'easier' to muntah everything since most of the unwanted details are forgotten.. i mean blurry... you get what i mean? do you get me?

well, just imagine, i summarized the whole thing in less an hour... or was it more? hmm...

what i'm trying to do and why i'm doing this cos i'm tired. i'm sick of it. i'm done thinking. and now. i'm walking towards the lights.. eisehmen... hehe.. come on.. it's a huge maze, an expert level... so. it's not that easy. i'm working on it. my way. let me do this my way. i'm not saying my way is better or pretty. it could be bad, ugly or worse, i dunno... whatever.. but i wanna do it my way.

i just need you to be there.. mentally.. spiritually.. try your best to understand me cos i know you don't get it. too many whys i don't have the answer... for now. too many whats and hows and bla bla bla...

hmmm i guess you're right.. my level of ketahanan is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy up there.

tell you what... i'm about to reach the peak... my arms are pumped.. =) TIGHT!!!!

quote 7

what's gonna happen to you if i'm gone...
i don't know... i rather die... i only have you and mummy in my life...
do you wanna go...?
no
do you wanna.... grow old with me...?
yes
.........................................
ma.... don't go.... i love you... i'm sorry....
...................................................................
hmmm... yeah.... ok... let's just sleep. ok.

dilemma

there's alot of things i just wanna say out loud but it's not that simple.. cos if i do, it's not gonna be a pretty picture. i hate myself for doing this but i gotta do it. just do it and get it done. or else.. i will never forgive myself. i think...

i've been wondering for a very looong time and it's been haunting me for years. i know. silly me huh. so now. i'm done wondering. nothing will stop me. yes. i am that selfish. i am and i am soooooo sorry. just let me go and i'll come back. no matter what.

i never ask any of this to happen. what i'm sure of, i let it happened.. i just go with the flow and i'm here right now. having this dilemma. not knowing what to do... actually, you know what, i know what to do.. from the very beginning, i know what to do, but i'm too selfish. or fool? or crazy? hmmm....

yes. i am that crazy. i can't help it. i've tried soooo many ways to stop it. i walked away. i shut it down. i let go. i did all that. been there done that. but it keeps on coming back from every corner. it is harder than i could imagine to just walk away and pretend as if nothing happen. cos when i do that, almost every now and then, i find myself falling apart. i don't feel like doing anything. i just sit there and keep staring. and the next thing i know, i'm back to same spot.

i just gotta do this.

you can hate me or you can love me or scream your lungs out right to my face. all i'm asking for now is.... let me go. i'll come back. and when i come back. i'll do my best to put myself into one piece. i'll use the same medicine... walk away and let it be.

do u get me? anyone?

i need to.....

WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!

and i love you so...

quote 6

are you ok?
yeah.. i'm ok..
then why are u so sad..?
............
i dunno... i'm just sad over something...
something what....
.............
work....
don't worry... everything will be fine
i dont think so...

*hugs

Nothing Hurts Like Goodbye

Have you ever been hurt so bad
That you thought that you would die
Have your had to hold back tears
When you just wanted to cry
Have you ever had to hear the truth
And try to keep a smile
Have you ever had so much to say
That you just ran out of time

Nothing hurts more than when you're saying goodbye
You're left feeling lonely with pain you feel inside
The heart keeps aching and you feel a little fragile
Cause nothing hurts, nothing hurts, like goodbye

Ever wish you can turn back time

And live your life again
Have you ever wanted one more chance
To right all your regrets
Wish the rain could was away tears
And wash away the hurt
Cause pushing thoughts to the back of your head
It doesn't seem to work

Nothing hurts more than when you're saying goodbye
You're left feeling lonely with pain you feel inside
Your heart keeps breaking and you feel a little fragile
Cause nothing hurts, no nothing hurts, like goodbye

Like goodbye


-- gabrielle --

me

words fall through me and always fool me....

he's not happy...

when damien kiss ellena
and me sooooooooooo happy
but dammit!! it's catherine!!
hmmmmm

still breathing...

hmmm... what am i gonna do? i've been thinking of this question for a very long time. very long time. sadly i still don't know. i'm not sure what i'm gonna do. what should i do? see. no idea. dammit. it's been haunting me for a long time and it is still haunting me like nobody business. i keep on having this heavy breathing. i'm sure you know what i'm talking about. heavy breathing. where you keep taking a very deep breath and when you let go, somehow you feel a lil' bit better. but of course it comes back to square one after a sec.

i'm not sure what you doing to me but i'm prepared. i think. this is it. i've been wondering and wondering and wondering. so now. i just have to deal with it. now or never.

you think i can pull myself together? i'm not sure. we will see. i'll let you know when i'm done with the design.

home

is where everybody knows everybody... when it comes to me... i know faces... i'm not really good with names... names can be a total stranger to me and when i see those faces.. i'll be like "ahaaaa!!" you know...? most of them. well. i think they know my name than my face... *heeeee.... kan femes... and uniQUE. hehe.. who have my name right... if u know.. tell me... i wanna say "hey buddy.." hihi.. i still don't understand why i got it... but oh well... it's easier for you to remember me... right? just so you know... there's oneeee i don't like... which i'm not gonna say it here... =P nextttttt

is where u can just be at home doin nothing.. listening to mummy bising bising here and there.. almost 24/7... when she's right there in front of me... and if its meant for me... sia pandai panas juga la.. but then.... when the others kena... i'll be laughing at the corner... and right now... i miss that... hmmmm.... BUT... that doesn't mean i'm gonna be one angel daughter... hehehe... i will still be the pain in the ass daughter... lol... hmmm (jgn macam macam.. u too ah...) <--- now.. that's for the sisters only... not for you.. if you're not... hmmm whatever... what i'm saying is... i miss her... that's all....

is where u have ur mom... ur dad... brothers and sisters around. why do we have to be so far away from each other...? why? sometimes i wonder why i'm here... tiada juga savings... i mean... well.. i dooo have.. (fingers cross) but... till when? where do i go from here....? i wonder... what do i really want? what's next? ya ya... keep that question... i'll let you know when i'm ready...

anywayssss... home is home... no matter what... but why am i not at home? i don't understand what i'm saying here.. i just dunno why i'm here... i thought i knew.. guess i don't... it's just blank.... i need to fill it in... very soon... no no... not that... something else...

okla.... main boring... gnight!

i dunno...

"are you coming back w me?"
"i wish but u know i'm on standby... "
"yeah.. but..... " *sigh
"are you going back?"
"eh? what do you mean? of course i'm going back.. everybody is gonna be there"
"and you gonna leave me alone..?"
"just for few days... yeah... "
"when are you going back?"
"i dunno...."
"how long you gonna be there?"
"i dunno.... i'll let you know...."
"i'll be all alone here?"
"errr.... something like that.... "
......
"i'll call you every 10minutes.. ok?"
........
"ok.... promise..?" *sigh
" yeah... "



yeah... i haven't told him that my flight is confirmed months ago... and its gonna be 7days...

hmmm.... now what...

i dunno what to tell him....

Vanessa....

is having mental stress {{{{{{{{ @.@ }}}}}}}}}

"Vanessa... have you amended the drawings?"
"Vanessa... i need to know how big is the recessed wall..."
"Vanessa... when can we buy the tiles?"
"Vanessa... are we gonna have chandelier at the foyer?"
"Vanessa... there's a column at the corner... are we gonna box it up?"
"Vanessa... can you come over to the site?"
"Vanessa... when can i see the design?"
"Vanessa... i need the detail drawings for the bedhead..."
"Vanessa... what is the material for the kitchen cab?"
"Vanessa... what's the height of the vanity top?"
"Vanessa... are we gonna paint over the roof tiles?"
"Vanessa... which one is better... wooden floor or floor tiles?"
"Vanessa... what is the outlet for the WC?"
"Vanessa... are we gonna have bidet?"
"Vanessa... are we gonna have tv at the master bath?"
"Vanessa... how big is the entrance?"
"Vanessa... are we gonna have wallpaper at the dining hall?"
"Vanessa... can we shop today?"

and the winner is.......

"Vanessa... i need you to tell me which handle is nicer.."

VANESSA VANESSA VANESSA VANESSA VANESSA!!!!!!

i need a break... i really need one FAST!

while im working...

i'm thinking of....

* watching movie... inception... which i'm going tonight.. later at 845 w CK & MK.. yeah.. not gonna wait SK... screw her... heeee..... it's L.Dicaprio ok.. i don't want to make him wait too long for me... hehe.. you don't do that... especially him....

* my work is forever neverending... it will never finish... yeah... so what i'm gonna do.. just do it. as long as i'm still doin it... i know something is done.. better than nothing right.. screw all the calls... i'll deal with them later...

*shopping... do i really need to shop? for the dress? hmmm.... or just shawl... ? i hate shawl.. for me shawl is for movie... hehe... or scarf? ugh... i dunno... purple... hmmm... not really my fav. colour.. but... ahhhh..... actually i'm thinking of wallet... i wonder what happen to my previous wallet.. what do they do with it? wonder what happen to all the prayers inside... hmm.... and other 'sampah sampah' inside... ohh yeah.. and my ID... did they throw it? or keep it..? i wonder... damn.... i have to collect my new ID... and oh shit.. my driving license... i've been driving without license... hmm.... oh well...

*i'm thinking of you.... wonder what do you think of me... hehe... yeah.. i'm bored... i fed up doing work.. so... here i am... blogging something that is bla bla bla.... and you're still reading it right now.. haha! funny.... that is why i hardly blog... i mean really blog...

*caitlyn & sam. can't wait to squeeze these girls... tiny girls... hmm... sometimes i don't understand why am i here... hmmm.... oh yeah... i have him.... no wonder... *sigh

*him. wonder what he's doing right now... should i call? naah... he just left.. i'll call in 15.

*my hair.... my hair.... aiyo.....


ok la... that's what in my head... empty.... just linessss... u know lines.... yup.. bloody lines... damn you autocad!

this is what i've done over the weekend... very the boring one....

benci!

one of them

i'm so bored

us at 4am

*watching the A-Team at 4am

"B... very loud.. turn down the volume abit please..."
"eee..."
"please....."

*pushed the button... ONE time ONLY

"B... please.... ppl are sleeping..."
"and I'm watching bah...."
(w alvin the chipmunks voice)

*push the button... ONE time ONLY
*me rolling rolling eyes!

suddenly a FINGER poking poking me on my shoulder...

"ma.... can i have one more coffee....?"
*turned and looked at him w monsters eyes
"pleaseeeeeeeeeeee........."
(dunno what kind of chipmunks voice already)

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee geram nyerrrrr

when i look at him...

i wonder what's in his mind...
i wonder if he really cares... or just..... ??
when i think back all those years... been there.. done that...
hmmm.... how nice if everything is just ok all the way...
no problems.. no issues.. no sadness... just happiness... & laughter...

i've been moody for the past few days.. cepat marah...
he kept asking me... "what's wrong...?" and same answers i said "nothing"
see see.... PMS that is... budu.... hmmm....

i'm busy.... busy with work... and doing my best to spend time with him...
yeah... no specific story here.. just simply blogging over something that is nothing...

yeah boring kan... lol

anyway, he's going off soon for work... just not sure when exactly...
maybe for a week or 2... not sure... i'm hoping he's going before i go back to KK...
at least i have the proper 'goodbye' with him... i don't like 'goodbye' on the phone..
it will only 'kill' me slowly... hmmm.... i miss him already even when he's right in front of me..
funny.... i know i know... psycho bitch huh... hmmmm...

bah itu la tu... that's it.

more to come!

quote 5

hello
hi baby
what you doin?
nothing. doing my drawings.
ohh
why?
i miss you
awww... but you just left... ??
yeah... can i come home now?
of course... come home & hug me...
ok... bye ma...
ok.. see you & be careful ok.
ok

i...

miss you..
miss us..

why oh why

words fall through me and always fool me....

it all started from here...

Mabul - Sipadan
Uncle Chang

snorkel
28th, April 2010

it's bittersweet

i'll be home this sunday
i'll be around for 6-7weeks
are you happy?

go swing... ?

Extreme Skytrek
Bukit Cerakah, Shah Alam

yup.. that's not me.. but i did this too.. & so many other route too...
just no paparazzi around.. ihhh

HDC Rocks!!!
17th May, 2010

im not a fighter... im a lover...

Canyon Paintball

Deeper Team

happy faces after war

HDC Rocks!
(Hammerhead Dive Crew)

2oth June 2010

go deeper!

Salang, Tioman

Open Water Dive License
29th May, 2010

go higher!

nanyang rock, batu caves, gombak

Top Rope
20th June 2010

quote 4

"love you darling papa miss you
and waited for you just now...
so sad now..."

quote 3

" ...miss you sosososo mmuuuccchhhh

i think of mama all day u know
and feel sad u not beside me now... "

quote 2

" ....love you sosososo much darling and
always thinking and missing you sosososos much.... "

note 10

i wanna be in your life

quote 1

"i do not like the changes in you...."

No Other Love

No other love
darlin', I'm flyin'
No other love
darlin', I'm flyin'

I can go
I can go anywhere
No other love
Can take me there, ooh

No other love
darlin', I'm flyin'
No other love
darlin', I'm flyin'

I can go
I can go anywhere
No other love
Can take me there, ooh

darlin', I'm flyin'
darlin', I'm flyin'

I can go
I can go anywhere
No other love
Can take me there, ooh

No other love
darlin', I'm flyin'
No other love
darlin', I'm flyin'